Everyone is going apeshit over the pumpkin pie spice latte or whatever at Starbucks. I rarely ever go to Starbucks since I don’t like coffee and paying $4 for a tea bag is ridiculous (I can get those at home…for free). I also never know the stupid sizes. I’m not learning those stupid size names to order an overpriced hot beverage. I also don’t want to give my name, have to spell it out and have someone say, “That’s interesting” and have a shitty conversation about the origin of Ola. I’m better off making up some generic name.
My husband likes Starbucks coffee and I walked over with him so that I could suggest walking over to Winners afterwards since it’s in the same plaza (usually works). Anyway, I was offered a small sample cup. I tried it….not my style as it was overly sugary, but whatever, I tried it and was over it….or so I thought. While walking to Winners, I had that Dumb & Dumber moment where your stomach starts making some crazy noises and you know things are about to get serious… as in some serious #3. So you know what happens next. I didn’t get to check out Winners and I never want to drink that shit again.
Also, when you look at the ingredients, it’s mostly artificially flavoured so it’s a fake pumpkin pie spice latte. The only puree you get is post-drink when your trip to Winners abruptly comes to an end. Yea. Gross, I know. You’re welcome for the warning.
So instead, use the recipe for pumpkin pie spice from my last blog and make this bowel-friendly pumpkin pie spice latte at home. Your toilet will thank you.
Pumpkin Pie Spice Latte
2 cups milk
¼ pumpkin puree
1 tbs pumpkin pie spice
1 tbs maple syrup
1 tbs vanilla extract
Make a cup of coffee, pour half into 2 cups and put to the side.
Add everything in a small pot and whisk while on medium heat. Don’t let it boil, but let it get hot. Once you start to see little bubbles on the side, pour it into a blender and whiz it for like 30 seconds. This will make it all frothy.
Pour half the latte (aka milk) mixture into the half cup of coffee. Sprinkle with some of the pumpkin pie spice and now you have a pumpkin pie spice latte. It took the same amount of time as waiting in that stupid Starbucks line. Oh also, Tim Horton’s is now hocking this shizzle.
Optional: put on your Uggs and yoga pants, grab your Michael Kors bag. Take a bite of your avocado toast, post to IG and then take a sip of the latte and tell me how extra it tastes. You are now a basic b*tch.